Added: Kirby Gully - Date: 09.01.2022 17:31 - Views: 20081 - Clicks: 3535
So you are into this, and you want to find a partner to experience your kinks with. Now what? This essay intends to be a comprehensive introduction to trying to find a woman to dominate you and the basics of getting a femdom relationship more likely to happen. Nonetheless, although my information is very basic, it comes up over and over again in discussion forums dedicated to kink, and in my inbox. You have two options that are fairly different, a professional domme prodom and dominatrix are other common terms she might use or the so called lifestyle femdoms.
The latter are a lot closer to a wife, girlfriend or friend with benefits as far as finding them, while the former are hiring a sex worker. There are many professionals who have written more nuanced, insider perspectives on their business. The chief advantage of the professional route is that you can get the closest from-porn-to-demand experience, and the only strings tend to be basic human respect and a ificant outlay of money on your part.
Note that of the various sex workers you could see, the prodom is less likely to offer explicitly sexual contact touching your genitals, sometimes even pegging than many other such as escorts, massage parlours, etc… and depending on the laws of you area the conversation on how to try things like pegging can still be complicated.
Professional femdoms are usually extremely up front about their advertising, although they range on skill, experience and selectiveness. You can expect her to ask for references or some sort of identity verification on your part, and a deposit is normal. It is ok to politely ask for references from her and most professionals are extremely patient with the new and confused. Not ready for in person? There is also a whole host of remote services, from camgirls and phone sex now voip enabled!
Do keep in mind that a prodom is probably is not looking for a full time relationship, and she vastly prefers if you read whatever pricelist, client requirement or menu she has published as a FAQ. Expect her to be extremely strict with her boundaries and time- she has to be.
However, speaking from a less me focused perspective: In your paid experience, expect her to be in the business of creating an immersive fantasy. She may be personally into what she is doing and a lot of pros value their vocation, but her connection with you is a lot closer to other forms of body work and emotional labour, like a barber, personal trainer, massage therapist, or a life coach.
Sorry, part of this is a s game. I wish I could tell you that you could easily follow a quick flow chart of steps 1 through 37, but you, the human have to do all the stuff that makes humans generally attractive good health, a passing awareness of fashion and what looks good on you, learning how to carry on a conversation and talk to people.
I can give you some tips to make your search more efficient, but this is still not going to be fair or necessarily easy. Your nearest BDSM community has a few openly dominant women, either switches or not, and some of these women are more casual about who they play with. This is not a bad port of call to start with, but absolutely go into this not with the desire to bag a girl right away and skip off into the sunset, how to be a domme put yourself in the proximity of kinky women and to learn stuff. Talk to the other male subs.
Talk to the male doms. Talk to the female subs. Talk to the switches. Talk to the plethora of nonbinary humans who may fall anywhere on the spectrum of kink interest. Your next best place to find a femdom is in alternative or nerdy communities. Goths, pagans, LARPers, tabletop RPGs, polyamory support groups, the burlesque scene and so on tend to favour women who are more open minded and imaginative, and this tends to extend further to their approach to the bedroom.
More on flirting and asking for what you need later, because the third best place to look is your immediate pool of who you would normally date. The trick, when you want to find a domme in your own pool of typical matches co-workers, friends of your friends people who share your hobby, religion or ethnicity, even people on dating sites is knowing how to get that conversation open without embarrassing or scaring either of you. Tell the average woman you want to be dominated, and she will not know specifically what you mean by that.
She probably has some pop culture ideas of the gothy, harsh mistress in a corset. She probably also has some equally terrible stereotypes about what sub guys look and act like. Further, how you frame the subject will go a long way to how it comes across. This is because the platonic idea of what a dominatrix is, is a service job.
Even if you absolutely how to be a domme mean that when you want to find a domme you want just the fetish mistress in the leather uniform, and who hates you, you will still need to break down what you want. Do you just like her being the ultimate arbiter of things in your relationship at large? Do you how to be a domme nurturing and pampering? Do you get aroused from feeling jealous? Do you like the sense of humiliation? Or is it being helpless? Or both? Or is it being extremely looked after and cherished?
Do you have specific fetishes like feet, or being spanked? Do you want things in your butt? Do you want a plastic or metal thing on your genitals she carries the key to? Wear lingerie? If she likes sex and she likes you, she probably wants to know more. But, if your plan is to just go supine at her feet and say you want to be dominated, expect your quest to find a domme to be a disaster. You need self knowledge. Of course, if you have no practical experience, your likes and dislikes are theoretical. Nonetheless, you can still probably break down your porn to particular aesthetics, acts, etc….
I already told you to play the s game, now you optimize. Being attractive. Every human has the potential to improve on what they were born with. Maybe you look like an emaciated toe after the scurvy set in, but someone fucked your ancestors. Knock out the low hanging fruit hygiene, fit of your clothing, any health problem you can afford to treat, cardiovascular fitness and enough muscle to hold your body upright.
What do the women you find attractive generally go for? Beyond that, what media do these women consume? What do advertisers try to sell them as far as men? This is how to humanbut I am writing this assuming you got the masculine upbringing that specifically punished you, explicitly or implicitly from showing an interest in girly things, so if you are a normal fellow I am giving you valuable recon information.
Playful surrender and alluring teasing. Ok, fine, now the good stuff. Your teeth are brushed. Your shirt fits. The nice part about kink is it is actually surprisingly polite to take public. Flirting as a sub is all about sending out test balloons. Flirting is about building up a slowly escalating rapport which, because humans are so notoriously bad at judging, lets either of you safely exit the process at any time. I have a pet theory that the ability to navigate social nuance is the true peacock display, swollen rump or stag horn grapple of the human species, but leaving off the pet evolutionary biology theories of the author, and back to helping you….
Lastly, check how she sees men in distress, pain, etc. Empathy is the twin of sadism, so being very caretaker-y or liking comedy where the victim suffers could both be examples of tells. Your job is to not escalate too fast, and both give you room to step off, if you need to show her no harm done, or segue back into just friends. Lastly I want you remember that every relationship is unique to the people involved. Your functional femdom will probably not look off the rack, straight from the porn or otherwise be by the s.
Embrace the custom fit. Thus, I am not promising you a magic bullet, but you will end up a fair lot closer to your goal than if you just set out to find a domme cold. And hey, I pay for my own hosting, toss a Kofi to your blogger? I'm the admin, and writer behind this blog.
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Domming – How to be a Dom