Added: Jerimie Stiltner - Date: 19.01.2022 14:03 - Views: 42833 - Clicks: 1254
And how do you know this person will find a submissive a good fit for your fantasies? Asking sounds easy, right? Stranger from the Internet: Hey sexy, wow your boobs are big. I love my face sat on, let my mouth and nose be your seat. Stranger from the Internet: You will bow down to me when I come into your bedroom. Many BDSM-minded folks, much like in vanilla dating, have a checklist of things they want to experience.
Lots of us have fetish lists or wishlists or what I call 'fucket lists'. Letting the list drive the interactions with new power exchange partners can be misleading and a turn off. A more effective approach is asking the right questions and having a sense of the answers that would get you off the most. Not every Dominant does this and not every submissive does that.
They vary from person to person and from scene to scene. No sex. This communication prior to any play, became both a filter and social lube for our scene. It gave me ideas as a new Dominant and inspired the tone of the power exchange. I like this question because it asks them to reach into both their spank bank of prior hot experiences and their fantasies for future hotness.
This question prompts your potential new playmate to think beyond fetishes and acts. What is the flavour of the scene? Do they like scenes where a particular emotion dominates - like fear, abandonment, nurturing, erotic humiliation, for example. You are inviting them to verbally entice you with the feelings, props and visuals they enjoy. This is my favourite question. Like I was playing dress up without an inner influence of dominance. This is a great starter exercise to do on your own, you can also expand this exploration by using questions that capture different angles, perspectives and experiences within BDSM.
This question gives you a sense of what other questions you need to ask. Are you new to this? Have you had other power exchange partners? Do you know what your limits are? Do you know how your find a submissive and mind responds to XYZ? Is it about experiencing fear in a controlled environment? Is it about denial?
If they are unsure - suggest they do the exercise above to explore their own submissive or Dominant characteristics or perhaps share your list. Some folks aren't able to easily articulate what it is they like. I like to understand where the pleasure comes from to use these feelings as rewards or punishments.
These are my checkpoints - I can explore outside of these pleasure moments, but I can always make sure that the scene includes some of these pieces. I am turned on by creativity. This question invites creativity and possibility between the new connection you are making. Maybe you happen to own the exact toy you've been wanting to try out on someone. Searching for play partners online can feel transactional, like flipping through a catalogue. I've found that the opportunity to dance in conversation with someone for a little bit, to explore a connection based on fit, consent and chemistry, is certainly worth the effort.
If you're not already on Fetlife it's like Facebook for kinksters it's a good website to start on to see how sexy it is when community can shape chemistry. Shop Peg The Patriarchy. Sex Toy Bags. Mugs with a Message.
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Sexy Strawberry Scene. Sexual Confidence. Why is your cart is empty? Me: My name is, No. What kinds of scenes turn you on? What characteristics are a buzz kill for you? Characteristics of my Dominant side: Playful Bossy as fuck Expects obedience Friendly Demanding Likes ritual worship Nurturing Budding sadist Characteristics I look for in a submissive: Obedient Pleaser Thoughtful Communicative Enjoys erotic humiliation Believes in a philosophy of Goddess worship Masochist Buzz kills: Uncommunicative Brats Doormat subs Pain sluts This is a great starter exercise to do on your own, you can also expand this exploration by using questions that capture different angles, perspectives and experiences within BDSM.
What experience do you have in power exchange? Ready to get some skills in Dominance and Submission?Find a submissive
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How To Find The Perfect Submissive